We have gotten this question a lot over the past 2 weeks. After going through 2+ years of infertility, I feel it is ok to be open about it now. There is a sense of shame and embarrassment when you are going through it. As a woman, I'm failing at my purpose. We didn't want to be the object of pity or gossip. I think we are both used to succeeding at what we start out at and this was a monumental failure. Little did we know what God had in store for us. I tell my story with the hope that other women (and couples) can learn from our experience. This article explains it better than I can:
Breaking the Silence on Infertility
We tried without any medical help for about a year. We did everything you were supposed to do. Anyone that has tried to have a baby longer than a month knows what I am talking about! After I expressed concerns, my OB/Gyn sent us off to the fertility clinic for a battery of tests. We went to the local clinic for initial testing. I remember how sure I was that there was really nothing that wrong. We just need a bit of Clomid and that would be it. I'm healthy, I dont smoke, I barely drink, I'm not overweight or underweight, etc...
I remember the appointment in May of 2009 when we were told something was really wrong. My FSH level was high and I had very, very few antral follicles for a girl my age. Like 3 when I am supposed to have 15- 20. Dr. One was awful. No bedside manner, cold medical facts only, no "I'm sorry." The appointment lasted 10 minutes, but all I remember was him telling me that I had a "very low chance of pregnancy, even with ivf" over and over again. Options like egg donation were brought up. My official diagnosis was diminished ovarian reserve. I could try to explain it but here is a good explanation by a doctor at my clinic:
The Concept of Ovarian Reserve
We decided to try the introductory Clomid and Femara for a little while because we weren't ready for the big guns. I read and researched. 90% of the information was doom and gloom. My diagnosis has been described as one of the worst. You cant force your body to make eggs no matter what you do. Nothing worked and we decided to switch to Doctor Two at the clinic several months later. Dr. Two, barely better than Dr. One in the bedside manner department, calmly informed me I probably had endometriosis and needed laparoscopic surgery. Then Dr. 2 delicately told me that they didnt really treat patients like me. My chances for success were too low. Once I did my own research and saw that the surgery would be more harmful than beneficial, we decided it was time to move on.
The thing is, this infertility stuff is a big business. I am completely pro business and think that private research has lead to amazing medical discoveries. Whether the motivation is dollars, a desire to help others, or a combination of both, I don't care. We benefit in this country from both. Most people are self pay and have no coverage for infertility. It is insanely expensive and clinics compete to bring patients in with the newest technology. At the end of the day, what matters is the pregnancy statistics. Are you going to pick a clinic with a 50% pregnancy rate or 25% rate with IVF? It's a no brainer, you pick the more successful clinic because the astronomical price is pretty much the same at both clinics. What you have to realize is that some clinics cherry pick patients to keep their statistics up. A 25 year old girl with 20 eggs and only blocked tubes?? Perfect! Someone like me, not so much. Even at 30 years old, only half of a woman's eggs are chromosomally normal. Knock out half of the eggs just for that? You see why these doctors try to get TONS of eggs. I needed a doctor who actually wanted to treat me and didn't look at me as an annoyance or bane to their statistics. Even with some insurance coverage, we are paying way too much money to be treated like a leper. Goodbye clinic #1, I won't miss you!!
From my own research, I found several clinics around the country that specialize in my diagnosis- Philadelphia, Cornell in NYC, and a clinic with a branch in St. Louis. There I found my miracle maker, Dr. Peter Ahlering at the Sher Institute. He has an amazing "online" reputation as a compassionate doctor who wasn't all about the statistics. We decided to see him and never looked back. Traveling for this type of thing seems crazy, but time was not on my side. We needed the best as soon as possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment