A Trio of Miracles: Worst Christmas EVER

I had such wonderful ideas of what this Christmas was going to be like. We'd have 2 fun days with family and the kiddos would enjoy their first time opening presents and enjoying the chaos of the holidays. Ummmm no. That is not what happened. We have had the Christmas from Hades. Let me explain.

On Wednesday, Nate and I noticed that Natalie was not looking very good. Around noon, she turned into the Exorcist baby and barfed all over her jumperoo and me. I always wondered how you tell the difference between spitting up and vomiting. Well... I know now!!! Yes, you most certainly can. I was praying that it may have been a fluke thing only to have my hopes dashed 3 minutes later. The poor thing was sick all day long. Thankfully my mom was there to help me. She just laid on the boppy and looked so sad. :( I knew we were royally screwed because I had fed them solids that morning with the same spoon. And let me back up once more. Earlier that morning, I did what the doctor said NOT to do and left Townes on the changing table without his strap on. He is into this rolling stage and rolled himself off the table and fell about 3 feet onto the floor. He landed flat on his back. I was crying more than he was I think! I checked everything and he was fine. Just very shaken up and probably a bit sore. The problem was he was super clingy. So I have Natalie throwing up and him not wanting me to leave the room. Nate came home from work and we reasoned maybe, hopefully the others wouldnt get it. We weren't even thinking of ourselves!

I took Townes and Caroline to school on Thursday. Townes looked a little rough but no fevers and no puking. I got the call at 4:30 that they both were sick. I guess I should be happy that they lasted until then. I brought them home and we dealt with them until bed. Around 8 pm, I started getting nauseous. I was super cocky because I have both Phenergan AND Zofran. This thing couldn't beat that combo. Uh yeah. I threw up from 8:45 am to 4:45 am Friday morning about every hour. I got about 3 hours of sleep and dragged myself out of bed for a few minutes to check on the kids. Nate felt fine so let me take 2 naps.

I woke up from my second nap with really painful skin. I've only felt this before when I've had the flu so I decided to head to urgent care in case I needed Tamiflu. I got my flu shot the previous Tuesday, but it takes 2 weeks to work. I waited for 2.5 hours and watched "It's A Wonderful Life" for the first time ever. Do you know the scene where George Bailey comes home and yells at the teacher and his family for 10 minutes? That was me. The doctor finally saw me and declared me flu free with a fever and stomach bug. He gave me some meds and sent me on my way. I took one look at the Publix parking lot and drove home to relieve Nate. When I got home, I saw the trash can and knew he'd gotten it. Poor thing was sick until about 8 pm, then slept until 7am.

We were both very depressed to have to miss both Christmas celebrations. Christmas Eve is Jennings day. We knew we were probably still contagious so did not want to expose 30 people to it plus it would have been awful. The kids have been taking 3-4 naps and going through about 12 diapers a day and multiple baths. My parents came over yesterday and brought the kids some of their presents. They helped us all day so Nate could take naps and I could clean up and do 8 more loads of laundry. Surprisingly my mom didn't get the bad stuff. Hopefully my dad will be in the clear. We took NICU measures! It was nice to have company and a break in the monotony.

Today, we traditionally go to my parent's house but we still aren't 100%. Nate's parents came over today and helped watch the kids while I took a much needed walk at Edwin Warner Park and a nap. As of tonight, I think Caroline has recovered. She had it the easiest for some reason. Natalie is still pretty miserable and Townes has been exhausted. The poor things have awful diaper rash so hoping that continues to heal. My parents are celebrating Christmas with my brother and his family tomorrow, but I still dont think we can make it.

Sooooo as you can see. Absolutely not not what we wanted, wish for, hoped for, or desired in any way, shape or form. I am so tired of the crying, smells, vomit, and everything else that came with this. I now think we've been down in the gutter so surely God will spare us these lows for the next few months. The hardest part was not being able to comfort 3 babies who just wanted to be hugged and held simultaneously. We were so blessed to have it staggered though. I could not have dealt with the kids as sick as I was Thursday night.

While I was waiting in the doctor's office, I clicked on a Bible devotional app I have out of boredom. This was that day's devotional:

Jesus Our Example

Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done - Luke 22:42

"Someone has said that these words of Jesus are the most difficult-and most important-words that we can learn in any language: not my will, but Thine, be done.

To say these words sincerely and from the heart takes conviction, courage, and faith. It means trusting that God really is wiser than you are and really does love you more than you love yourself. It means trusting, like Jesus trusted, in the perfect wisdom of God.

Although Jesus' will was always in perfect harmony with His Father's (John 6:38-39), ours often is not. The things that we assume would make us happy and contended He seems to withhold from us at times, and the things we seek to avoid are the very things that He frequently allows into our lives.

Is there some sickness, heartache, pain, instability, demotion, or tension that you are facing at the moment? Rather than looking for the nearest exit from your trial-by whatever means you can devise-turn to God first and take your need to Him in prayer. The same God who created your world can certainly sustain, heal, strengthen, and direct your life.

Pray for deliverance; pray for strength; pray for direction... and pray, "Not my will, but Thine, be done." These words are difficult, because they hand the most precious parts of our life over to God. But they are liberating, because they recognize that we are in God's hands anyway and, if we understood the situation perfectly, we would certainly want whatever God wants for us.

Dear believer, there is no prayer (outside, of course, a prayer for something that is already revealed in God's Word as sinful) that you cannot take to God with these precious words: not my will, but Thine, be done."

Did it speak to me? Yes. Although it has been the craziest and most life altering year of our life, it feels as though it is year zero. Every single holiday, something has gone wrong. Townes had colic until August or so which completely ruined Memorial Day, July 4th, and Labor Day, Halloween was fun for 30 minutes then we had breakdowns, Nate had to miss his families' Thanksgiving, and now this. No vacations, no pool time, no carefree weekends of sleeping late. But this really has been the year of learning and I continue to do so. I continue to see that I am not in control and it is so freaking hard. I feel like I haven't been able to enjoy this first year because I have 3.

Then I talk to other moms and they feel like the first year of motherhood is hard no matter how you stack it. I guess because you have to become so selfless. For women who experience infertility, its the realization that this baby or babies do not cause happiness. That those years of disappointment and struggle aren't "fixed" at the birth of a baby because your deeper issues are still there. A Christmas with sick babies is better than a healthy Christmas with no babies at all. It was not about me and my dreams of a perfect holiday season. I cannot handle vomit, period. I cant hear someone throwing up, smell it, or see it without gagging. Parenthood is a new frontier.

But God, can you please spare us a stomach virus for ummmm... about 10 years!!!!?? Please please please??? And MANY thanks to our parents for visiting us both days.

Here are a few shots of Christmas morning...