Phillipians 4:13

"I can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength."

Time to get honest and serious here. My posts have been superficial lately simply because I haven't had the time to get real. Every minute of my day is taken up with taking care of someone or something. Right now I am being trampled on a purring, drooling cat who weighs 18 pounds and wants his 30 minutes of daily petting. Those times are long gone.

Being selfless sucks. There it is. Maybe I'm being blunt, but we know it's true. I'm one of those people (maybe the Southern in me) that always answers "Oh I am fine" or "No, I don't need help" when asked. I try to never show a temper, be in a bad mood, or seem frazzled in public.

Privately, I need help and do have lots of internal strife. I don't want to get less than 8 hours of sleep. I don't want to do laundry every day. I want to go to the friggin grocery store without arranging it with someone. I don't want to be stared at when I go out in public with the kids or told someone would die if they were me. I want to go to the beach or take another vacation to Switzerland or Ireland. Heck- I'd even look forward to Pigeon Forge right now. I want my stomach to lose its stretch marks and flabbiness.

Maybe everyone is like this. I'm starting to see it. The "no help" girls are quietly tortured by thoughts of wanting to escape too. I see women with perfect bodies 6 months post pregnancy and perfectly groomed babies wearing $100 monogrammed outfits everyday. I'm not like that and my babies won't ever look like that. But I know those women look at someone else and feel insecure.

When I was going through infertility, Philippians 4:13 was my mantra. I said it over and over in my head before doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, negative pregnancy tests, after hearing that only 1 follicle was there. I said this when I was lying on the hospital bed with an IV in my arm. I said this before the Propofol knocked me out. I said it each time the clinic called about the embryos. I said it during the tortuous 2 week wait. I REALLY said it at 6 weeks when we found out we were having triplets. Then I stopped. My pregnancy was amazing. Nothing went wrong. I was so lucky.

I started praying it again lately. I need it more than ever. The kids had their 1st cold this past week. Our night nanny is leaving in 2 weeks. I'm in for some tough times. But I know Jesus will get me through it. He is the only source of strength that will never fail.

I don't write this to garner sympathy for myself. I just want to be honest. Someone told me recently that they told their wife everything would be fine because I was fine and have triplets. Believe me- I dont have it all together!!