I anticipated that it would be this way and have had a great deal of anxiety about it. I have almost gotten over my fear of being alone with the kids. Then something new starts. Crawling, walking, talking, climbing, etc. It throws me for a loop because it's a change and I don't do change. The other day the kids were running around the garage while I tried to get some things together. The front passenger door was open. Next thing I know, Natalie and Caroline had climbed up INTO the car (an Expedition no less) and were laughing and jumping in the drivers seat. I turned the key and my hazards were on, windshield wipers going full blast, and who knows what else. Natalie additionally climbed the entire staircase by herself yesterday after I forgot to put the bottom gate on. Townes decided to stand up on our couch table while I was in the dining room. These things happen on a daily basis and I am constantly amazed at their growing abilities.
Because of past bad experiences, I am hesitant to take them out on my own. Thanks to a new ride, it has been a little easier. We got the 3 seater radio Flyer:
It is much lighter and easier for me to get out because of the weight. The Choo choo is great for longer walks and excursions. The one big drawback of the wagon is that they start slapping and kicking each other pretty quickly. (They inherited my need for personal space!)
So this week I decided to be brave and load them up for the YMCA. I did it twice. I was soooo nervous. The last few times I tried were awful and were a waste of time. Thankfully they ran right into the nursery play area and had a blast. The wagon is tons easier to get into the nursery door and doesn't attract as much attention. As long as I go during slow nursery hours, we're good! Plus the exercise gives me stress relief and some time alone. I wish I could go during spinning classes, but the nursery is super busy. I don't want to push it.
Little things like this are big victories for my anxiety. I logically know nothing horrible is going to happen beyond lots of tears. But as soon as I think of doing something, the heart rate rises and the "what ifs" clog my brain. I still am so sensitive because of Townes' aversion to nurseries as an infant. He loves the couple at church who watches them and was happy as can be at the Y. Who knew he would change so much?!
As a family, we were also able to go to the zoo and eat out a few times. People with one child may think that's insane but trips like this were unthinkable last year. Especially restaurants. The zoo was funny because they could care less about the fact a 20 foot giraffe was right in front of them. They just wanted to play in the bounce house. Townes is very into cats and dogs so I thought he would be into the animals. Nope, not really! REALLY glad I hadn't killed myself to go to the zoo previously because they were not yet overwhelmed.
As these kids grow, it definitely becomes easier in most ways. I've had so many moms tell me 3 and 4 are awful?! Yeah, like when they can TELL you what's wrong, be potty trained, buckle their own seat belt, and walk into school? Multiples are just a totally different scale. The discipline has been challenging, but NOTHING compares to Year Zero. Year One, with a few hiccups, has been pretty darn fun.
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