The First Year

I could write a novel about the last year of my life. It has been the craziest, most rewarding year of my 32 years on the earth. I have never been challenged physcially or emotionally pushed as much as I have since March 6th.

I thought infertility did it. Nope!

I thought a high risk triplet pregnancy did it. No way!!!

Raising three tiny infants from Day 1 to Day 365 (or 366??). YES.

This is what I have learned:

1. I can raise 3 tiny babies without ever have changed a single diaper in my life previous to March 6, 2011. 
2. Colic is the devil. :)  Thank goodness for "Happiest Baby on the Block"
3. I have the greatest husband ever. I could have NOT, and I repeat NOT, have made it through the past year without him. He brought me down from my anxiety induced fits of thinking when I thought I couldn't go another day without checking into Vandy Psych ward.
4. If you have something beyond basic baby blue, get help. You don't have to live like you are drowning.
5. I can live without sleep and not die.
6. People will never understand what it's like to have triplets. Having 3 children close together does not count. It isn't easy, but it is not the same.
7. Anger is ok. It's not an emotion I have been really familiar with until dealing with 3 screaming babies. I never, ever thought I would be driven to kick something out of anger. Now, I have done it several times. It's very therapeutic on occasion.
8. I have incredible family and friends. People popped out of nowhere to bring us meals, sit with kids, and offer prayer.
9. I like to offer people advice on babies because I went through the Navy Seal bootcamp of infancy. But I do realize that people need to do what's best for their babies. My kids are not dying of malnutrition because I gave up breast milk at 3 weeks. My kids are not psychologically damaged from crying it out. They actually sleep 12 hours (with no monitor) and I have to have that time to be mentally fit for the next day.
10. It's ok to ask for help. I NEVER thought I would have the kids in daycare 2 days a week. The cost first of all, but secondly, it was like giving up. Now I know I was simply taking care of my own mental health. I am a much happier mom, wife, and friend because of the break.  Yes, the kids have been afflicted with every disease known to man. They had RSV twice and pinkeye three times, but kindergarten won't be so bad when we're paying out the wazoo for private school. They have learned to socialize with other kids and be used to different adults. 
11. Something will always be there to bring the control freak out in me. I cannot control the world even though I really would like to. That's like saying I want to be God. I never used to see this as sinful, but now it is plain how selfish that is. 
12. God really does give you the grace to get through horrible times. 
13. Nothing, and I mean nothing, on this earth will fill the void of God. No pregnancy, no child, no husband, no house, no car, no job, and no pretty figure will be enough. These things disappoint you or they fade away eventually.  Do I live like I really believe this? Sometimes. I often look to material goods or people to fill the void. At least I can say I've seen it in action.
14. Although they are insane, the rewards we have reaped from our children are tremendous. Watching them roll around and play with each other warms my heart. They have built-in best friends already.

And finally...

We do not grow unless we do uncomfortable things. I think this is really the first time I have been forced to do something so uncomfortable and so challenging and I couldn't escape it. Too many times we take the easy road by choice. At the end of this year, I am such a stronger person because of the challenges I have dealt with. Temporary suffering refines you. I know I will continue to be refined through suffering and through various trials as they get older. 

Stepping out of our comfort zone is painful and very uncomfortable. But I promise you, what you learn in the process will give you so much strength. So many times we look to "bad things" as being punishments. I completely disagree and would offer the statement that these bad things happen to bring us closer to God.